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#1 2010-02-09 00:24:58
- xlledx
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- Registered: 2007-09-07
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I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
So, the other day. Im not sure when. Im hoping its been atleast a week. I promised myself I would stop beating off. Now, Ive made such promises before, and well... yea. But this time I was serious. I was fine really, not a big problem, until today. I decided to watch some porn to show myself how stupid my addiction was, and that I wasnt missing anything.
Bad idea. I cant get the thought of those fake tits heaving up and down to the labored moaning of a paid professional.
And with the knowledge that some day a future employer may google my email user name to see what he finds....I click submit.
Planet Fudge: 12 man enter, 1 man leave
QB: Matt "The F@#*$%& End" Ryan RB: Michael Turner, Addai WR: Roddy "I Ain't" White, Wes "The Bed" Welker, Donald Driver TE:NE TE that ends in -OWSKI DST: CAR K: TBD Bench: Jon Stewart, LT, Jabbar Gaffney, Devin Thomas, Austin Collie, Dexter McCluster-F@#K, and Julian "Soon to be Cut" Edelman.
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#2 2010-02-09 01:42:25
- 7grain
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- From: Meridian ID, Arlington VA
- Registered: 2007-08-27
- Posts: 1219
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
wow.
Specializing in keeper-league questions since 2008.
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#3 2010-02-09 02:31:37
- tycoon912
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- From: SoCal
- Registered: 2008-07-08
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
Okay. We need a Really Off Topic section.
Sent from my iPod Shuffle
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#4 2010-02-09 02:58:43
- heyitsthat1guy
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- From: So Cal
- Registered: 2008-01-15
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
am i the only person that is really interested in where meathorse is gonna take this?
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#5 2010-02-09 08:36:00
- meathorse
- Hall of Fame
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- Posts: 2340
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
Crank Yanker wrote:
I promised myself I would stop beating off.
Why? That's not healthy. I demand that you re-load those heaving fake teats again and show your keyboard who's boss.
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/ … tion-guide
The Interwebs wrote:
In general, the medical community considers masturbation to be a natural and harmless expression of sexuality for both men and women. It does not cause any physical injury or harm to the body, and can be performed in moderation throughout a person's lifetime as a part of normal sexual behavior. Some cultures and religions oppose the use of masturbation or even label it as sinful. This can lead to guilt or shame about the behavior.
Guilt? Shame? I know you have neither.
Now get out there and go f@ck yourself!
subtext
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#6 2010-02-09 14:19:36
- xlledx
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- Registered: 2007-09-07
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
Way ahead of ya Meathorse. twice.
Planet Fudge: 12 man enter, 1 man leave
QB: Matt "The F@#*$%& End" Ryan RB: Michael Turner, Addai WR: Roddy "I Ain't" White, Wes "The Bed" Welker, Donald Driver TE:NE TE that ends in -OWSKI DST: CAR K: TBD Bench: Jon Stewart, LT, Jabbar Gaffney, Devin Thomas, Austin Collie, Dexter McCluster-F@#K, and Julian "Soon to be Cut" Edelman.
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#7 2010-02-09 17:43:49
- Neezy
- Style is Impetuous, and Defense is Impregnable
- From: El Paso TX
- Registered: 2007-08-03
- Posts: 1724
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
This might be the best thread ever.
Patrick Willis puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"
You cannot 'andle m-eye uh riddum
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#8 2010-02-09 18:09:08
- meathorse
- Hall of Fame
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
xlledx wrote:
Way ahead of ya Meathorse. twice.
Excellent. High five!
Wait...
subtext
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#9 2010-02-09 21:00:27
- souljaboy
- Starter
- From: Chi-town
- Registered: 2007-12-22
- Posts: 722
- Reputation : 21
Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
meathorse wrote:
xlledx wrote:
Way ahead of ya Meathorse. twice.
Excellent. High five!
Wait...
don't you mean low five?
Why is there no hole in this wall?
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#10 2010-02-10 14:40:14
- Dolphbucs
- Hall of Fame
- From: Rochester, NY
- Registered: 2006-07-21
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
Let me be the first to say ... TMI dude.
After eliminating the impossible, whatever is left, no matter how improbable, must be the truth - Sherlock Holmes
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#11 2010-02-10 15:06:22
- Neezy
- Style is Impetuous, and Defense is Impregnable
- From: El Paso TX
- Registered: 2007-08-03
- Posts: 1724
- Reputation : 75
Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
Dolphbucs wrote:
Let me be the first to say ... TMI dude.
Seriously this is becoming more of the norm, and its pretty funny.
Patrick Willis puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"
You cannot 'andle m-eye uh riddum
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#12 2010-02-11 11:21:15
- MojoX
- Music Forum Moderator
- From: Veritable Cornucopia
- Registered: 2007-09-27
- Posts: 2197
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
I read the thread title, and yet I still clicked on it.
QB-Favre; RB1-ADP; RB2-DWill; WR1-DeSean Jackson; WR2-A Boldin; Flex; Ahmad Bradshaw
Bench: Flacco; Barber; D Brown; Huggins; S Moss; Gaffney
http://wesnertech.com/tffg/ff_soundboard.html
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#13 2010-02-11 19:12:55
- Kevin
- Fantasy Football Guy
- From: Delaware, USA
- Registered: 2006-05-20
- Posts: 6285
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
MojoX wrote:
I read the thread title, and yet I still clicked on it.
At least you didn't step in it...
"It's time to NUT UP, or SHUT UP!" -- Tallahassee
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#14 2010-02-11 20:47:07
- dbschoo
- Starter
- From: Da Land of Ditka
- Registered: 2006-07-30
- Posts: 715
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
Glad to see there is some constructive use of tffg forums during the offseason! I'll be checking back daily for the latest torid tale from xlledx
go x go! (but from afar, please)
Run, J-Cutty, run!!!
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#15 2010-02-14 12:32:10
- 7grain
- All Pro
- From: Meridian ID, Arlington VA
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
dbschoo wrote:
Glad to see there is some constructive use of tffg forums during the offseason! I'll be checking back daily for the latest torid tale from xlledx
go x go! (but from afar, please)
Please... don't encourage him.
Specializing in keeper-league questions since 2008.
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#16 2010-02-14 23:32:48
- king kracka
- Veteran
- From: Wichita, ks
- Registered: 2006-10-21
- Posts: 1038
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
I love offseason threads.
10 team PPR/standard scoring Dynasty league(year 2) Record[0-0]
[QB]-Aaron Rodgers, Matt Ryan, Jimmy Clausen [RB]-DeAngelo Williams, Steve Slaton, Ray Rice, Shonne Greene, Micheal Bush, Anthony Dixon [WR]-Roddy White, , Greg Jennings, Steve Smith(car), Vincent Jackson, Austin Collie, Bernard Berrian, Golden Tate [TE]-Visanthe Shiancoe, Alge Crumpler [K and DEF]-who cares.
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#17 2010-02-15 01:57:50
- Neezy
- Style is Impetuous, and Defense is Impregnable
- From: El Paso TX
- Registered: 2007-08-03
- Posts: 1724
- Reputation : 75
Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
I know it is a bit random but if you put the word violent in front of masturbate it immediately becomes like 10x funnier. Go up to someone and say "violent masturbation" and I guarantee they will laugh.
Patrick Willis puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"
You cannot 'andle m-eye uh riddum
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#18 2010-02-15 10:42:22
- xlledx
- All Pro
- Registered: 2007-09-07
- Posts: 1679
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
king kracka wrote:
I love offseason threads.
Offseason? Pretty sure the season ended nearly 2 months ago.
Planet Fudge: 12 man enter, 1 man leave
QB: Matt "The F@#*$%& End" Ryan RB: Michael Turner, Addai WR: Roddy "I Ain't" White, Wes "The Bed" Welker, Donald Driver TE:NE TE that ends in -OWSKI DST: CAR K: TBD Bench: Jon Stewart, LT, Jabbar Gaffney, Devin Thomas, Austin Collie, Dexter McCluster-F@#K, and Julian "Soon to be Cut" Edelman.
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#19 2010-02-15 11:45:04
- MattyP
- Roddy White #132
- From: America's Dairyland
- Registered: 2007-10-09
- Posts: 3331
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
xlledx wrote:
king kracka wrote:
I love offseason threads.
Offseason? Pretty sure the season ended nearly 2 months ago.
Well, yours did.
A man's got to know his limitations.
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#20 2010-02-15 13:06:13
- elliot23
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
xlledx wrote:
king kracka wrote:
I love offseason threads.
Offseason? Pretty sure the season ended nearly 2 months ago.
Yeah, it's tough to win your fantasy league with your hands around your neck!
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#21 2010-02-15 23:38:30
- king kracka
- Veteran
- From: Wichita, ks
- Registered: 2006-10-21
- Posts: 1038
- Reputation : 53
Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
xlledx wrote:
king kracka wrote:
I love offseason threads.
Offseason? Pretty sure the season ended nearly 2 months ago.
Well, that doesn't really make it any less "off season" though does it?
10 team PPR/standard scoring Dynasty league(year 2) Record[0-0]
[QB]-Aaron Rodgers, Matt Ryan, Jimmy Clausen [RB]-DeAngelo Williams, Steve Slaton, Ray Rice, Shonne Greene, Micheal Bush, Anthony Dixon [WR]-Roddy White, , Greg Jennings, Steve Smith(car), Vincent Jackson, Austin Collie, Bernard Berrian, Golden Tate [TE]-Visanthe Shiancoe, Alge Crumpler [K and DEF]-who cares.
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#22 2010-02-16 14:55:08
- Neezy
- Style is Impetuous, and Defense is Impregnable
- From: El Paso TX
- Registered: 2007-08-03
- Posts: 1724
- Reputation : 75
Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
elliot23 wrote:
xlledx wrote:
king kracka wrote:
I love offseason threads.
Offseason? Pretty sure the season ended nearly 2 months ago.
Yeah, it's tough to win your fantasy league with your hands around your neck!
Or your rooster, that's what the X man's problem is.
Patrick Willis puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"
You cannot 'andle m-eye uh riddum
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#23 2010-02-16 17:42:06
- Bigisland31
- All Pro
- From: Utah
- Registered: 2007-08-15
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
I blame Kevin and the last podcast for this thread. After all, he DID bring up Vaseline and a box of tissues.
10 Team PPR Keeper(5) League QB: Drew Brees–Matt Stafford
RB: Maurice Jones-Drew–Ray Rice–Javid Best-Ahmad Bradshaw-Willis McGahee
WR: Andre Johnson–Larry Fitzgerald–Hakeem Nicks-Jabar Gaffney-Dexter McCluster-Jason Witten
IDP:Jon Beason-Lawrence Timmons-Rolando McClain DEF:NY Jets
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#24 2010-02-16 17:49:47
- Kevin
- Fantasy Football Guy
- From: Delaware, USA
- Registered: 2006-05-20
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Re: I Promised Myself I Wouldnt Jerk Off
Bigisland31 wrote:
I blame Kevin and the last podcast for this thread. After all, he DID bring up Vaseline and a box of tissues.
Only if the Eagles had won the Super Bowl...which they so clearly didn't. And for the record, i wouldn't use vaseline. I would probably go for a moisturizing cream of some sort. Just sayin'.
"It's time to NUT UP, or SHUT UP!" -- Tallahassee
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